|How to build a Web page in 25 steps
- Download a piece of Web authoring
software - 20 minutes.
- Think about what you want to write on your Web page - 6 weeks.
- Download the same piece of Web authoring software, because they have
released 3 new versions since the first time you downloaded it - 20 minutes.
- Decide to just steal some images and awards to put on your site - 1
- Visit sites to find images and awards, find 5 of them that you like
- 4 days.
- Run setup of your Web authoring software. After it fails, download it
again - 25 minutes.
- Run setup again, boot the software, click all toolbar buttons to see
what they do - 15 minutes.
- View the source of others' pages, steal some, change a few words here
and there - 4 hours.
- Preview your Web page using the Web Authoring software - 1 minute.
- Try to horizontally line up two related images - 6 hours.
- Remove one of the images - 10 seconds.
- Set the text's font color to the same color as your background, wonder
why all your text is gone - 4 hours.
- Download a counter from your ISP - 4 minutes.
- Try to figure out why your counter reads "You are visitor number
"-16.3 E10" - 3 hours.
- Put 4 blank lines between two lines of text - 8 hours.
- Fine-tune the text, then prepare to load your Web page on your ISP
- 40 minutes.
- Accidentally delete your complete web page - 1 second.
- Recreate your web page - 2 days.
- Try to figure out how to load your Web page onto your ISP's server
- 3 weeks.
- Call a patient friend to find out about FTP - 30 minutes.
- Download FTP software - 10 minutes.
- Call your friend again - 15 minutes.
- Upload your web page to your ISP's server - 10 minutes.
- Connect to your site on the web - 1 minute.
- Repeat any and all of the previous steps - eternity.
Did I leave anything out?
Apparently, I did:
- Increase vocabulary development as things don't
work - 2 hours.
- Decide to put a counter on your page - 5 minutes.
- Try to connect to the server to create one - 4 days.
- Try to get the code just right for the stupid counter - 4 hours.
- Upload your new page with counter - 2 minutes.
- See the stupid broken image graphic where your counter should be -
- Dump the counter and put one of those fake ones on your page instead
- 5 minutes.
- Sign up with Lpage Guestbooks, put links to your guestbook on your
page - 2 hours.
- Play reciprocal guestbook signing with others, and actually meet some
nice people through the guestbooks - 3 weeks.
- Lose your complete Lpage guestbook when their server crashes - 1 second.
- Sign up with Pergatory Guestbooks, put links to your guestbook on your
page - 1 hour (it's getting easier).
- Contact people who signed your old guestbook to ask them to revisit
your page, meet new people via your new guestbook - 1 day.
- Lose your complete Pergatory guestbook when it goes belly up without
warning - 1 second.
- Two weeks after completing your page, find three glaring spelling mistakes
- 20 seconds.
Erika Holmsten © 1998